dear knitting-powers-that-be

Please accept this as my formal application for a paid position in the field.

I do not like anything else nearly enough to want to do it every day. I have surely demonstrated the dedication, perseverance and wear-with-all requisite to merit such a position. Also, I am a strong proponent of knitted love in all forms.

Should you wish to investigate my qualifications further, my first attempt at Sahara should provide ample evidence. Next week, she is scheduled to undergo the major surgery required in order to rectify a terrible and deeply troubling sleeve condition which results in ever-widening-while-simultaneously-shortening sleeves. I will spare you the gorey details.

I am more than eager to join the professional knitting sphere, as I would gain tremendous life-satisfaction out of spending my days creating finite, accomplishable things that would keep the world warm. (Also, I could better justify my yarn habit and run less risk of ever achieving SABLE. Yes. This is a good thing. No. We shan't discuss the ramifications of this statement today.)

I very much look forward to meeting with you at a mutually convenient time in order to discuss this opportunity further.

Yours very truly,

Tiffany