Sunday, January 14, 2007

dear birthday powers that be...

This is not the way I wished to begin my twenty-fifth year on the planet.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all that you've done for me. After all, there are worse days and ways to be born.

I am most especially grateful for that birthday back in grade school on which you granted me a most glorious Snow Day. That, dear birthday gods, is what I'm talkin' about!

However. . .

Thing One: I am awoken at 6 am by the guy down the hall, in the midst of what was clearly a domestic quarrel of some kind, screaming at his partner to let him back into the apartment as he tried to beat down the door with his fist. The only good I can find in this is that I was awoken from a nightmare in which I was dreaming that a certain someone was at my door instead of down the hall and a perfect stranger.

Thing Two: I woke up feeling like arse. Birthday. Arse. Do not despair. The irony of this is not lost on me. Please note that I specifically stated that I did not want birthday arse of any kind. I didn't get greedy. I eagerly await notice of what misdemeanor has so greviously vexed you, birthday gods, for which I must be punished by being knocked, to borrow the harlot's turn of phrase, "arse over teakettle", on my Twenty-Fifth Birthday. I eagerly await the opportunity to rectify it post haste.

Thing Three: It's snowing. It's the first real snow of the year. While some like snow - even me sometimes, I am somewhat concerned that this will put a damper on the turn-out for my birthday celebration tonight.

Therefore, I would like a redo. I'm going to curl up with a cup of homemade (by me!) chicken noodle soup and my knitting in the hope that you come around to my way of thinking.

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Yours very sniffily,



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