Friday, January 26, 2007

tips for commuting on the TTC...

...brought to you by Me.

1. TTC operators: If you do not announce that this is a short turn train, you will have to be patient with those passengers who come flying at the closing train doors like a bat out of hell, after hurdling over two kids who clearly have nowhere to be, because they're 20 minutes late for work and believe, in all honesty, that they NEED TO CATCH THIS TRAIN in order to get to work at any respectable time. Forcing not one, but two fellow passengers to come to aforementioned running passenger's aid when her bag becomes entangled in the door and you won't reopen them for her doesn't earn you any brownie points with your customers. Neither will announcing that this is a short turn train AS it pulls into St. Clair West with a look of smug satisfaction.

2. Moms: I appreciate that your child is ill, and to you, this is a very important matter. HOWEVER, neither I, nor the fifty other people on the bus are interested in the consistency of your child's poop.

Stop talking about it.

A detailed list of every morsal of food or beverage that has even whispered near his lips is also unnecessary.

3. We live in a democratic society. We all have the right to choose what kind of music we listen to, which perfume we wear, what we belive, etc. That means that I have the right to choose not to hear your music. Aside from the emminent hearing loss that will result from the fact that I can clearly discern the lyrics on your headphones, you should at least consider the possibility that others may not share your taste in music. Also, if you feel the need to take a bath in your perfume or cologne, try to remember that some people are very sensitive to scents and your simple presence after this dousing may cause them to experience migraines, asthma attacks, or far worse, anaphylactic shock. A dirty look for getting up and moving to the other end of the train is both immature and unnecessary.

I'm glad we had this little talk...aren't you?

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