Monday, May 26, 2008


Today I will:

  • Teach someone to spin

  • Buy some clothes so I can sling coffee in compliance with dress code

  • Drink coffee

  • Not worry about "what if"

That last bit? It's the hard part.

The public review for the job competition I won (woo!) closes tonight at midnight. At that point, baring any major drama, the job is officially mine. Along with all the anxieties that come along with starting a new job. But today I will not worry about "what if."

We spent some time at the beach yesterday. It was truly beautiful. Yet I found my mind wandering to other things. I was not in the moment, and all I could think was what a waste of an experience it was. Hence my resolution for today.

It's interesting how introspective one can become when one has very little else to do. I am still in a holding pattern; still waiting for things to start; still on a tight budget. So to keep myself entertained, I pick people apart - mostly myself, but sometimes others. I've realized a few things along the way. I finally have some sort of a why for the end of my relationship, such as it is. It is not a good why, but it is an accurate one. And, unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Which only leaves me with the fairly unsatisfactory knowledge that either he'll get over it or he won't, and there's no guarantee that I'll be around when he does.

There has been knitting progress. I actually knit an entire pair of socks (Okay, they were plain stockinette socks on 3's, but still. Socks. Two of them. In two days.) and I've begun work on some twisted flower socks in a lovely teal. So far there's only about half an inch of cuff, so nothing particularly picture-worthy. Besides, my photos are stuck on my camera until the package from my sister containing the various sundry items left behind arrives.

On Saturday, we had a bit of a party here. It was supposed to be a low-key games night, but somehow morphed into two separate parties occurring in the same space. There was the games night involving the three of us that were relatively sober and then the drink 'til you're stupid night involving everybody else. One of the people's newish significant other was in attendance for the first time. It should be interesting to see how that all plays out.

I wish I could do more to convince you all that I'm doing more than phoning this one in today, but the truth of the matter is, I'm sortof out of material until I actually start going out and doing stuff again.

What did you all get up to this weekend?

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